How to make Gangsta rap child friendly

Our little bundle requires lots of entertaining input to maintain an appropriate happiness output, so I find myself singing to her a lot (and wishing I had taken those singing lessons when I had the time.) And while I can Doo-wop and I can Disney, I absolutely draw the line at Barney, which is what I almost caught myself singing to her the other day...you know the one "I love you, you love me"...ugh. I think our young one would benefit more from Mommy's old school Gangsta rap favorites than Barney! But making Tupac and Ice Cube child friendly can be a challenge. Here's my take on the chorus to Snoop Dogg's Gin and Juice:

"Rollin' down the street in my stroller

Sippin' on booby juice

Laid back, with my mind on my mommy and my mommy on mind"

What do you think? Would Barney rap that?

And on the seventh day...

We rested! Finally!

Today's is Aliza's seventh day and since she so thoughtfully gave us the gift of sleep we shall return the favor and give her the gift of recording random ramblings that will embarrass her one day in the all-too-near future.

As told from Aliza's perspective (we have almost a Betazoid-like telepathy with our child and can therefore interpret her thoughts and desires)

Day One (Friday, February 19th, 2010)

Birth! Pretty exciting stuff. Mommy seemed upset that the doctors were cutting me out of her so I decided to poop on them as a form of revenge. When that didn't seem to do much to cheer her spirits I peed on the floor (all while my head hadn't been born yet) and that really did the trick, Mommy found that hilarious! Afterwards I went to the yucky nursery with Daddy, the mean mean nurses didn't let me see Mommy for three whole hours, I rewarded them by being the loudest baby there! The rest of the day was pretty uneventful and I got to eat some booby and chill with my new parents, they seem ok so far, only a tad neurotic.

Day Two (Saturday, February 20th, 2010)

I'm kicking butt and taking names...so far the names are Mommy and Daddy...you two didn't think I was going to let you sleep did you?

Day Three (Sunday, February, 21st, 2010)

I was pretty ready to get the heck out of this place and go home! We made it safe and sound despite the "blizzard" outside and I was greeted by all of my grandparents and my furry big sister Rory.

Day Five (Tuesday, February, 23rd, 2010)

Our first outing as a family- Mommy, Daddy, Rory and me! It was pretty great, even if it only lasted ten minutes.

Day Six (Wednesday, February 24th, 2010)

Back out into the world and off to my first doctor's appointment. It didn't seem too bad, especially since Mommy fed me booby the whole time, that Mommy she is pretty awesome.

It's not easy being green

aka more witticism from tired parents

As you all know we decided to cloth diaper. We figured since neither one of us has ever changed a diaper before we would have no bad habits to break. I would love to tell everyone that it's going great, but really I wouldn't know because I am absolutely terrified of changing her diaper, I have bargained with hubs that I will start changing her diaper as soon as her cord falls off and until then I will sit in the corner eating my elbows.

This is the conversation I overheard between hubs and Aliza yesterday as he was changing her diaper...

(We put her in a disposable diaper for our first visit to the pediatrician, we figured it would be a little easier and it was, so when we got home we changed back into cloth)

Hubs: Isn't this better than those nasty disposable diapers?

Aliza: WAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hubs: (dismayed at her unenthusiastic response) Don't you feel green?

Aliza: (louder now) WAAAAAAAA

Hubs: No? You feel pissed off?

Aliza: (in agreement) WAAAAAAAA

Hubs: It's not easy being green!

And so maybe it isn't easy being green, but so far the diapers have had one blowout (our fault not diapers) the disposable which we have used a fraction of the time (mostly during the hospital daze) had two! They seem more absorbent and once we know what the heck we are doing just as easy to use as sposies. We may very well consider adding some all in ones to the mix once that dreaded cord falls off.

our brand new life

Aliza Marie, just minutes old...

how sleep deprivation leads to mis-understandings/ some notes on our first days as parents

hubs: (in response to baby fussing) check her arms

me: they seem fine

hubs: no, her lower arms

me: um, you mean her legs?

hubs: oh yeah I forgot there's a name for those

hubs: what do you want for breakfast?

me: english muffin

hubs: butter? honey? (meaning the condiment)

me: butter, honey (meaning just butter, honey-term of endearment)

breakfast outcome questionable

me: I'm so glad you get to stay home with me, it's like a vacation, like a honeymoon!

hubs: yeah you are preoccupied with something the whole time and you don't get any sleep

me: (dreamy, doped up on baby love hormones) yeah...

hubs: (sarcastic, bleary eyed monster) yeah...

many more witty discussions to come

Blueberry Yogurt Cake

Another tried and true recipe from Smitten Kitchen....that I managed to somehow destroy!

The original recipe can be found here and I'm sure would have been just delicious if I left well enough alone...

Recipe & Revisions

what you need:

• 1 1/2 cups & 1 tblsp all purpose flour, I have been using unbleached
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, but I'm sure regular salt is ok too!
• 1 cup plain whole milk yogurt
• 1 cup & 1 tblsp sugar
• 3 extra large eggs
• 2 teaspoons grated lemon zest (about 2 lemons worth)
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil, I know what you're thinking a Smitten Kitchen recipe without butter is almost an oxymoron
• 1 1/2 cups blueberries, fresh or frozen, thawed and rinsed, our local Cosctco now has organic frozen blueberries! Scoop these up for the half the price of Trader Joes or Whole Paycheck!
• 1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice. And here is where I think I made THE big mistake, I think I told the hubs to just squeeze all the juice out of the two lemons we used for zest because I figured I love lemon flavor so more juice can only add to that lemony goodness...umm no, this made the cake way too tart! So be warned don't go overboard no matter how much you think you like lemons.

what you do:

• Preheat the oven to 350°F. Use an 8 1/2 by 4 1/4 by 2 1/2 inch loaf pan, line the bottom with parchment paper and grease and flour the pan.
• Sift 1 1/2 cups flour, baking powder and salt in one bowl and in another whisk the yogurt, 1 cup sugar, eggs, lemon zest, vanilla and oil.
• Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet.
• In another bowl mix blueberries with the reserved tablespoon of flour and gently fold into the batter...I still don't quite know what "gently fold" means so I pour the blueberries and say "gently gently" as I mix the two together.
• Pour the batter into your prepped pan and bake for fifty or more minutes until a toothpick placed in the middle of the loaf comes out clean.
• And while that's a bakin'...threw the lemon juice and 1 tblsp sugar into a small pan and cook until sugar dissolves and mixture is clear...I think we really should have increased the amount of sugar we used, we tried to make it proportional to the extra lemon juice we used but clearly we failed.
• Let the cake cool in the pan for about ten minutes, then let cool on a cooling rack. While the cake is still warm, either poke holes in it with a toothpick or use a pastry brush to add the lemon sugar mixture to the cake, make sure there is something underneath the cake to catch the drippings! Cool and slice up to enjoy. Take outside, put it on a table and take pictures of it before the snow melts. Eat.