Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Five things I thought before I became a parent

Before I became a parent I said some silly, silly are some of them in no particular order:

On baby necessities-
Then: Who needs a glider rocker? I mean what a waste of money on a butt-ugly-doesn't match-anything-you-own piece of furniture.
Now: Dear, wonderful, (lent by my neighbor) rocker, I love you, please don't ever break, I don't know how I would nurse without you.

More on baby it necessary to have all of these necessities?
Then: Diaper wipes warmer? I mean seriously? This baby is in need of her butt wiped by warm wipes instead of regular ones?
Now: Umm can we warm the changing pad we put her on? (Anything to stop the screaming.)

On balancing the needs of a dog and a baby-
Then: (commenting on suggestions on how to prepare your dog for the arrival of a new baby) Having a screaming toy baby to prepare your dog seems a little excessive, I'm sure our furry baby will adjust to a human baby just fine!
Now: Why is our dog hiding under the kitchen table refusing to come out? Why is our dog running into the walls on purpose? Uh-oh.

On parenting-
Then: All I'm going to do for the first six weeks is feed the baby booby, I'm sure my husband can do the rest.
Now: Cue obnoxious laugh track. Delusional mommy to be, what were you thinking?

On my appearance-
Then: I won't worry about losing the pregnancy weight until at least six weeks postpartum, I mean they don't even clear you for exercise until then right?
Now: Must break every mirror in house. Must not wear clothes...just get a muumuu for now and all will be fine.

1 comment:

Vicky said...

Awwwww.... poor Rory ;)